Men’s Reactions to a Family Crisis

What Would You Do If Your Wife Runs Away with Your Children After a Misunderstanding?

This was a topic that three men were discussing at a local hotel (kibandaski) where I always have my lunch when I’m at work. I arrived before these three guys, and while I was waiting for madhee to serve my meal, I overheard quite a lot of their conversation. I don’t remember exactly how the conversation started as I was initially focused on my food. However, I started paying attention when the guy next to me began sharing his opinion on the question.

He said that he wouldn’t waste his time looking for a grown person who knows where she’s going. I sat there thinking, really? This is your wife and children we’re talking about. The woman who owns the hotel chimed in, “This means you don’t care about them.” Another guy, who was sitting in front of me, shared that he was fine with the wife leaving but not with the children. If the wife took the children, he said he’d search for her everywhere and make sure to give her a beating of a lifetime, even threatening to break her legs. At least he showed some concern for his children, though his approach was violent and unacceptable.

Then there was the third guy, who came along with the other two. His opinion impressed me. He believed that a wife would leave with the children because she felt that leaving them behind would result in their suffering. There would be no one to look after them all the time, especially if they were young, because the man has to go to work. He said that if something like this happened to him, he would make sure to reach out to his wife and talk things out, as he did not believe in violence. In my view, this man spoke like a gentleman.

While the first two men seemed to talk for the sake of talking and displayed a mindset that women don’t have the right to make their own decisions, the third man’s perspective was thoughtful and respectful.

If you ask me, my opinion is that if a woman decides to escape with the children, she must have gone through a lot and understands what kind of man her husband is, enough to distrust him with the kids. Conversely, if a man decides not to look for the woman, it implies that the wife is dramatic, and he is tired of them. That’s my take.

What’s yours? You can share your opinion in the comment section below.